October 29, 2024

But I’m Scared To Get Hurt Again
LYSA TERKEURST

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“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)

When life gets hard, we may feel justified if our hearts also get hard and the lens through which we see the world becomes tainted by past hurts.

When this happens, we may stop believing the best can still happen in our circumstances. We may stop believing the best about people and resist trusting them again. We may carry the wrong that one person did to us into other relationships and become overly guarded and overly suspicious that history will repeat itself.

Because we’re scared to get hurt again, we may easily start assuming other people will hurt us, assigning them wrong intentions they don’t have.

But, friend, if we were sitting together over coffee today, I would reach for your hand and encourage you with this: When life gets hard, let your heart stay soft. Let your thoughts stay true.

Don’t fill in the gaps with worst-case scenarios. Don’t assume what others are thinking. You can listen to your discernment: If something feels off or untrue, ask questions, verify answers, and realize sometimes people aren’t honest. But at the same time, remember many people are honest, true and real.

The world is full of good-hearted people. People who want the best for you. People who cling to the Truth of God’s Word and encourage you with the wisdom-filled words from it.

The Bible is also clear that we need the support of biblical community, like Hebrews 10:24-25 says: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I’ve found that when trust has been broken in a relationship, trust issues can only be worked on in the context of relationship. That doesn’t mean we must return to a hurtful relationship to work on trust. (If returning is possible, then that’s great. However, sometimes that may not be possible or safe.) But what it does mean is we can’t isolate ourselves and work on repairing trust alone.

There are still good people in the world. Not perfect people. But people worth trusting, who live the gospel message in the most real and beautiful ways. Find those people. Do life with those people. Embrace the gift of those people.

And if you’re looking for those people, I’d personally love to invite you to join me and Circle 31 Book Club in reading my new book, I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t, starting in just a few days on November 1. Together, we’ll gather as a community of women who are nowhere near perfect but desire to build relationships and safe connections (and have fun, of course!). For now, pray with me and find out more details about Circle 31 Book Club below.

Dear Lord, help me move beyond my hesitation to be open and honest with other believers — I want to experience Your design for gospel-centered community. I may have been hurt in the past, but I want to believe there are still good people in the world. People who love You and Your Word and who will encourage me in my faith. Also, please put someone on my heart today who needs a touch of love and kindness from You. I want to be a light for others as well. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

OUR FAVORITE THINGS

Are you looking for healthy relationships but don’t know where to find a safe community to connect to? You’re not alone! That’s why Proverbs 31 Ministries started Circle 31 Book Club. When you join, you’ll not only receive biblical resources and exclusive author content, but you’ll also gain access to a community of women who will encourage you along every step of your healing journey. So sign up to join and read Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t, with us this November.

ENGAGE

Find real-life encouragement when you connect with Lysa TerKeurst here on Instagram.

FOR DEEPER STUDY

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (NIV).

What do you value most in a godly friendship? How does a friend build trust with you?

We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments.

© 2024 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org